


Ladies Magazines

by TourmalineQueen



Category: Coupling (UK)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-29
Updated: 2014-04-29
Packaged: 2018-01-21 03:55:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1536602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TourmalineQueen/pseuds/TourmalineQueen





	Ladies Magazines

Disclaimer: Not mine. No matter how much I wish they were.

*-*-*

It was unusual, these days, for Steve to be the first of the guys to be in the pub. He was usually so taken up with writing, or looking after Joshua, or bickering with Susan about the most trivial things, that he was always last to arrive at their favourite watering hole. Today, however, he was the first of the men to arrive, and was well ensconced in his favourite part of the couch with a half-empty beer in front of him. He was surrounded by women's glossy magazines, and looked engrossed in one in particular.

"Alright, Steve?" Jeff asked.

"Hi." Steve was too engrossed in turning the magazine on its side, and then upside down, to say much more.

"Turned gay, then, Steve?" Patrick, as ever, asked the bluntest question in the least tactful manner.

"No! I'm doing research," said Steve defensively.

"For when you do turn gay?" Patrick asked, teasing this time.

"No! I've got a job writing an Agony Uncle column for … um … this one," Steve replied, riffling through the pile around him, to lift up a copy of More.

"Nice one. Good pay?"

"Good enough," said Steve. "But I've discovered something about these magazines that's better than money. In fact, it's better than porn."

This announcement was met with gasps of shock and amazement from his friends.

"But, Steve, nothing's better than porn! Not even a threesome with two gorgeous Greek--"

"We've heard that one, Jeff," interrupted Steve. "And I'm telling you--"

"Oh, come on! It's a woman's magazine!" Patrick scoffed. "All they tell you is how to apply lipstick and wear clothes."

"Page 152," said Steve, throwing a copy of Cosmopolitan at his friend.

Steve then picked up Company Magazine and handed it to Jeff at an already open page.  
As Steve passed around the glossies, Oliver entered the bar, and came to stand behind the couch. He began to read over Jeff's shoulder, muttering as he did so, "The Coital Alignment Technique is also called CAT -- oh. Oh! So she's not into bestiality!" He ran out immediately.

"That's more than I _ever_ intend to find out about their sex life," said Steve.

Jeff and Patrick both had glazed expressions.

"Ah," said Patrick. "No wonder Sally reads so many of these. Are they all like this?"

"This one, the one I'm writing for, gets even more graphic - and they get people to write in with stories of what they've done!"

Jeff and Patrick both grabbed at Steve's copy.

"Ah-ah-ah! Go buy your own! Susan's birthday this weekend, and I've booked an overnight babysitter. All I need to do is figure out the position of the fortnight!"


End file.
